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Communication • Social Learning • Practical Strategies

Declarative Language Handbook

Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood

A practical guide to making small but meaningful changes in the way
adults speak with children — helping create more opportunities for
thinking, problem solving, flexibility, connection, and discovery.

Declarative Language
Social Learning
Problem Solving
Connection

About This Handbook

Small Changes in Language Can Create Very Different Opportunities

Children with social learning challenges may have difficulty adapting
when routines change, seeing the bigger picture, solving problems in
the moment, understanding nonverbal information, or navigating relationships.

Declarative Language Handbook
offers adults a different way to communicate: instead of constantly
telling a child what to do, provide thoughtful information that
gives them space to notice, think, connect ideas, and make discoveries.

Linda K. Murphy, MS, CCC-SLP, turns this communication shift into
practical guidance that can be used by parents, teachers, therapists,
caregivers, and other adults supporting children.

Less “Do This.” More Information That Helps Kids Think.

Declarative language shifts communication away from a constant stream
of instructions and toward observations, information, shared thinking,
and opportunities for the child to participate in solving the moment.

The Core Shift

From Imperative Language to Declarative Language

The goal is not simply to get immediate compliance.
The goal is to create more opportunities for awareness,
thinking, connection, and independent problem solving.

Imperative


Tells the child what to do


The adult often carries most of the thinking and decision-making in the interaction.

Declarative


Gives information that invites thinking


The child has more opportunity to notice what is happening,
connect information, and decide what to do next.

What This Approach Can Support

Build Skills Through Everyday Communication

01
Flexible Thinking

Create more opportunities to notice change, consider possibilities,
and respond when situations do not go exactly as expected.

02
Real-Time Problem Solving

Give children space to use available information and participate
more actively in figuring out what comes next.

03
Social Connection

Use language in ways that encourage shared attention,
perspective, interaction, and connection.

04
Resilience

Everyday opportunities to think and adapt can contribute
to greater confidence when challenges arise.

05
Competence & Independence

Shift more of the thinking process toward the child rather than
having adults direct every step.

Practical by Design

Simple Communication Shifts You Can Use in Everyday Moments

The handbook focuses on practical examples and clear guidance so
declarative language can be used during ordinary routines,
learning situations, social interactions, and moments of uncertainty.

Beyond Skill Building

Help Children Feel More Competent, Connected & Understood

Changing adult communication is not only about teaching skills.
It can also change the tone of interactions by creating more room
for partnership, shared thinking, and recognition of what the child can already do.

Who Will Benefit?

One Communication Approach — Many Everyday Settings

Written for adults who want practical ways to communicate more
thoughtfully with children experiencing social learning challenges,
regardless of a specific diagnosis.

✓ Speech-Language Pathologists
✓ Therapists & Clinicians
✓ Teachers & Educators
✓ Parents & Caregivers
✓ Adults Supporting Children With Social Learning Challenges

Broadly Applicable
Useful Across Different Learning Profiles

The approach may be useful for children with a range of learning
profiles, including autism, ADHD, PDA, social learning differences,
and other situations where communication, flexibility, or
real-time problem solving can be challenging.

Notice • Share • Connect • Discover

Change the Conversation — Not Just the Child’s Behavior

Learn how thoughtful changes in everyday language can create
more opportunities for flexibility, problem solving, resilience,
connection, and independent thinking.

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